


Eva

by kartofelWbucie



Category: The Closer
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:16:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4910188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kartofelWbucie/pseuds/kartofelWbucie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Brenda's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eva

Brenda Leigh Johnson likes boys.  
She likes playing football, she likes playing with them with wooden sticks and screaming BANG BANG that loud that neighbours are opening windows and shouting at them to be quiet. She likes exploring with them dangerous places, climbing up the hills, going to caves or old train tracks pretending their adventurers.  
Boys from her gang treat her like one of them though she's the only girl, and when they don't her brothers always stands after her.  
She's with them until she's 12 and they start to secretly observe 16-year old Melanie who leaves opposite to Brad from their group. Brenda thinks she's pretty. Brenda is the same fascinated with her like others boys but she steps out. She doesn't think she should admire girls like that.  
That is enough. Brenda wants to be friend with girls now. But she can't, she's not sure why. Girls seem to be boring. Brenda doesn't feel comfortable around them. And they look at Brenda like she's the stranger from other planet because she was playing with boys before and boys are gross.

 

When Brenda is 17 she meets George. She's in love for the first time. George is different from other boys who hit on her. He's not afraid to show his love in public, he is tender, he likes holding hands, he thinks watching moon and stars is romantic. They love sitting till night and making up stories what they will be when they will grow up. They love kissing.  
They love each other.  
She gives him her virginity. It's the first time for both of them. His parents are out of town. She knows he cleaned his room, changed all the sheets in the bed. Still they smell like him, like all his clothes. She loves that.  
They both nervous and waste one condom because they don't know how to put it correctly. They're giggling actually reading the instruction for the second one.  
The act of penetration takes more or less two minutes. But before that George gives her prolonged foreplay. He kisses her whole body for so long that Brenda is sure she's the one who wants sex more. But when he finally enters her she's regretful he prepared her so well. It hurts only a little. He comes, rolls from her goes to toilet to remove condom. When he's back he cuddles beside her and promises next time he will make her come too.  
Their next times are better, he's even more tender, more eager to give her pleasure, which never happened. But Brenda is sure they will figure this soon because she wants to, she likes making love with him.  
No man would ever make love with her like George did.

Then one day, without warning his family disappears and he's gone with them. Brenda doesn't know where they went and when really, because she saw him day before and he promised to meet her other day. She's crying like crazy, when her mothers comes to the room and puts in front of her letter from him. He left in the morning, just when he was leaving.  
Brenda's shaking when she's opening it, there are few words only.

' _I'm sorry Brenda Leigh Johnson. You will always be in my hurt. I will always love you.  
\- George_'

Brenda is ruined for 2 years. Then she starts dating again. She dates several boys, no one she would compare to George but she loses hope to find someone like her first boyfriend.  
The first man who gives her orgasm becomes her first husband too. Not because of sex of course (though he's great with his mouth). She marries him because he's charming and funny. Until he's not anymore. Until he calls her bitch because she's late from work again. Until he raises hand on her for the first and last time.

Brenda decides that charm and being funny doesn't work for her anymore. She looks for someone who would understand her job too, who would understand her on deeper level like George did. She finds Will Pope. He's bold, he's not handsome at all but he attracts her. And he understands and even admire her work. They sleep together tree times only when she finds out he's married. She ends things with him. He doesn't interest her anymore. Not because of his wife. She's just not into him anymore.  
Their old affair doesn't bother her when he invites her to Los Angeles. She has absolutely no feelings for him left.

 

Brenda is doing groceries. It's Wednesday 12 pm, not many people in the shop. She has just moved to Los Angeles, she starts work from Monday, so she has couple days to settle in.  
There is that woman choosing oranges. For some reasons Brenda can't take her eye's from her. She's tall, wearing hills Brenda would never put on, has long brown hair, nice make up. There is something familiar about her and something Brenda would call 'fake'. She's not queen beauty that's for sure but she knows all those make up tricks Brenda doesn't, to look good.  
Woman looks up and locks sight with Brenda. It's intense, so intense Brenda can't stand that, she leaves her shoppings and leaves shop too. She's going to the car still thinking about the woman when she hears her name. The voice is so deep that Brenda is sure it can't belong to the woman she sees when she turns. But it belongs, Brenda knows it because woman repeats her name approaching her. Brenda shivers, she doesn't know why.  
“Brenda Leigh?” it's her name again.  
Brenda blinks and when she's finally able to talk the woman stands just two feet from her waiting for the response.

“That's me… But I don't think I know you.” she manages eventually.

“I'm Eva. But...you may remember me better as... George Walsh.” she says her old name with disgust.

Brenda opens mouth but she's not sure what to say. Eva gives up finally and hugs Brenda tight saying “My sweet Brenda Leigh.” Brenda accepts that. She accepts invitation for coffee too.  
She meets with Eva only once. They don't have coffee, drinks instead. They're talking about their lives now. Brenda feels Eva doesn't want to talk about past. Brenda doesn't know what to think. Relived maybe. After all she knows why George disappeared unexpectedly. 

After second drink she asks finally “Are you happy now?”

Eva's silent for a while “I don't know many people like me who are happy Brenda Leigh. It's better but...”(1. see end notes) she stops and never ends a sentence.

Brenda has many questions but Eva doesn't help her telling _'Ask whatever you want.'_ so Brenda asks about her job instead. Eva graduated History at university but works in the small company entering new clients data to the computer. She leaves in LA. Somehow Brenda hopes she will never meet her again. She knows it's not fair but Eva is not sweet George Brenda once knew. Brenda hates herself for thinking like that but it's true.

 

Fritz is good man. And Brenda can't compare every partner to George, like she did before, anymore. George was able to give her something which no man will be able. George gave her an element of woman she was looking in other partners not really knowing what was she looking for. And now Brenda knows it's impossible to find it. Fritz is loving and carting. He's nothing like her first husband. Fritz will never raise a hand on her, she's sure. George was one and special, Fritz is one and special too, Brenda repeats herself every second day. She is married to Fritz because she loves him. She loves Fritz, she just doesn't like sex with him. But really, sex is not the most important in the relationship. They have sex but she never initiates it. She fakes sometimes, sometimes not.

 

She needs to talk with Raydor but she doesn't want her team to hear that or even now about that. They still looking for a mole in the division. Captain leads Brenda to the small room when they can talk in private. Hardly anyone uses it, without windows it's more like storage now.  
Stepping after Raydor Brenda notices there are three different shades of auburn in her hair.  
Lately Brenda notices many details of Sharon Raydor which she's not sure she wants to know. The day before yesterday she noticed Raydor's perfect pearl manicure. Never ever has Brenda payed attention to one's manicure and two days ago she couldn't stop looking at brunette's hands.  
There was one more detail Brenda realizes. Last time when she was coming (because she has sex appetite, she just prefers her hand to her husband) for a one millisecond she saw Captain's under her closed eyelids.  
Raydor opens the doors and gasps. Brenda stands beside her and knows why. There is her lovely husband Fritz zipping up his pants and this beautiful blond commander.  
Then Raydor put her hand on Brenda's eyes like adult do to child. She manoeuvres Brenda from the corridor and gets her hand off when she's sure Brenda's not able to see Fritz.  
They stop. There are so many rolling wheels in Brenda's head that she thinks it might explore. She thinks about what she has just seen. No wonder it ended like that. Brenda remembers well.  
Sex one a week. Once a month. Once a year…  
She' s not so upset. Is she relived again? That they don't have to pretend anymore. There is something more. Brenda's thinks about hand which is still on her hip, she thinks about woman who is standing looking at her and is so obviously sorry like if it was her who cheated on Brenda.

“I...” Brenda starts.

Raydor takes hand from her hip and looks at the watch. “Let's go out of here.” she says. 

She starts to walk and Brenda is fallowing her again. They're going to Brenda's office for their bags. Raydor left hers there too. Brenda's not thinking. She's fallowing Raydor next to her car and then inside her condo. She eats what Raydor put in front of her and her mind is totally black. 

Then she hears “I'm really sorry, chief.” Brenda looks up and sees captain is not eating she's observing blond woman with concern. 

Brenda shakes her head “It's mine fault.” she says quietly and looks down in her plate again feeling that shame took her over. 

Raydor doesn't answer that or asks why, which Brenda is grateful, she hears instead “If you don't feel like going home, I have spare bedroom here.”

Brenda stays the night. But she can't sleep. She's starring at the celling.

It's two months later, Fritz moved out to the hotel or to McGinnis, Brenda doesn't know, doesn't care really. She can't sleep, nothing new. She's thinking about Raydor, nothing new. Like she was at her home, like she looked in different clothes then working suits, like she looked in the morning when Brenda met her in the kitchen. She was about to leave her note, instead she thanked for everything personal y and went to work. In the same clothes, without shower. The worst day in her career, worse than finding Fritz with McGinnis in the storage.  
Brenda gets up and drive over to Raydor, she needs to see her again outside the work. Captain is thinking she stepped some boundaries taking Brenda to her condo and now she's cold and distant at work. Brenda wants nothing more than to be closer brunette now. As close as possible. That's why when Raydor opens the door Brenda steps in and finds her lips millimetres from Sharon's.  
It's surreal, all what happens to Brenda these days. Sharon with her hair up instead of loose is surreal, her small lips and yellow wall behind her. Kissing Sharon is surreal but the best among above. Brenda is not sure why is she actually kissing Sharon but she knows she likes it. She is not complaining when Sharon pulls her inside or when they're hitting bed. She is not complaining when Sharon removes her cardigan even though she knows well what will happen next. She hesitates only second before she nods to Sharon to remove her pants. When she's lying in the middle of the bed with panties and shirt only she observes as Sharon removes her clothes too. She's fascinated but she's afraid to touch, she's afraid Sharon will disappear under her touch like soap bubble.  
Brenda's silent when Sharon kisses her naked body but she likes it a lot, like nothing before. Brenda comes in Sharon's hand like it's the easiest thing in the world. She comes not realizing when her orgasm was built and she's ashamed of it.  
Sharon seems self-contended.

The second time they have sex Brenda is not so paralysed. And she wants to explore Sharon too. She has never had so beautiful lover and now she's taking advantage of that exploring older woman's body. Women are amazing, Brenda is quite sure all women are amazing and it's not Sharon only. But Sharon is double amazing for Brenda.

It's their third time. This time Brenda just fallows Sharon to her condo from work. She's not hiding, Sharon sees her in the car mirror and slows after the lights so Brenda can catch with her.  
It's easy to blame George that he used her, that he showed her how woman love. But until now Brenda has been sure she liked men. Until Sharon Raydor has showed her what sex means, until Sharon Raydor has made her scream. Until Brenda has desired to make Sharon scream her name louder. It's not this element of woman which bothered Brenda with George, it was his men's side which Brenda realizes after three amazing fucks with Sharon Raydor. Because every single one is amazing. Doesn't matter they don't know each other bodies too well, doesn't matter they're still learning each other, doesn't matter they're only fucking. Because they don't talk, not at all. They just end up in Sharon's bed for sex.  
So it's third amazing time and Brenda doesn't know what to do. She curls up on her side, with back to Sharon and lays like that thinking she wants to cry. But she won't. She never cries at Sharon's. She always lays for less than half and hour, couches her breath and strength to get up, dress, leave the condo, drive to her house and then cry in her bed. Each two times after sex with Sharon she cries like small baby.  
Now, still lying in the same bed with brunette she feels woman moving behind her, kissing her again, her shoulder, her neck, behind her ear, side of her breast, her back, her neck again. Brenda counts every single kiss. These are slow kisses, Brenda thinks Sharon tries to make her comfortable, maybe she wants to show Brenda can trust her? Then Sharon presses her front to Brenda's back and her left hand sinks between Brenda's tights for the second time that evening. She's teasing her clit, then harder.  
She stops when she realizes Brenda is crying.

“It's ok.” Sharon puts hand on Brenda's stomach instead, circling it to comfort her. 

Her chick is now on Brenda's shoulder and it's too much for Brenda. Nothing is ok, they're fucking and suddenly Sharon is comforting her, suddenly Brenda wants so much more than just fuck her.

Brenda gets up and while pulling up her trousers she managed “I need to go home.” She steps to the kitchen and takes deep breaths, She stays there for a while before heading to the front door. 

Then Sharon grabs her arm “Brenda, stay… please.” her voice is soft, there is something in her voice that makes Brenda stay. Or maybe it's the robe Sharon is wearing.

It's late, they in the kitchen drinking tea. Brenda knows Sharon observes her. _Again._

“Why are you doing this?” Brenda asks.  
Sharon looks at her shaking her head “I'm not like that, I don't fuck people for sex, doesn't work for me.” They're silent, Sharon stares at her tea but don't drink it. Brenda asks slowly eventually “Why didn't you say anything?”

Sharon thinks “Because Brenda, you were so scared. I didn't want to scare you off completely. I decided to wait.” Sharon smiles sadly, Brenda wonders why because they finally established something. 

And then she realizes she was so unfair for Sharon.

Brenda takes Sharon's hand and kisses it “Thank you” she says. She's smiling now which causes smile on Sharon's lips and Brenda thinks she should do this more, a lot more.

“Would you like to go somewhere tomorrow? There's this coffee place where my first girlfriend took me...”

Brenda is nodding when she gets up and then she's kissing Sharon properly. Without haste, without this need to fuck her after that. She's gentle like never, she wants to tell her so much with this kiss. Instead Sharon asks her to stay the night. Even in the spare bedroom. Brenda thinks Sharon is afraid Brenda will disappear and never show up for coffee. She would never do this, she accepts invitation.  
The next day she wakes up at Sharon's second room with brunette beside her though she doesn't remember falling asleep with other woman.  
Again, after long time, Brenda is sure she knows what love is. Every small thing she sees, hear and touch feels like small miracle. The room she's in is the safest place on the world suddenly. Steady breath of other woman beside her feels it's not a dream. Worm hand on her belly, under her shirt feels like love. Right now she loves whole world, she loves her family and Eva and Fritz and for sure she loves Sharon Raydor.

**Author's Note:**

> (1.)This fic come into being after I've read interview with trans woman (after whom I named my character).  
> I don't know any transsexual person so all what I've place here is based on what she said. I had no intentions to hurt anyone's feelings here.
> 
>  
> 
> 2.Yeah, well, I don't like this fluffy ending either but I wrote this some time ago, didn't publish it waiting for the perfect ending which has never come... and now I'm cheating on them with Franky and Bridget from Wentworth and it's so hard to come back to Brenda and Sharon so I'm posting some fics as they are. Hope they're not so bad.


End file.
